Who Stole My Confidence?

At what point in your life did you stop believing that anything was possible? When was it that you started to doubt your ability to realise the dreams that you had of what your life could be like? Who was it that stole your confidence to try and more importantly why did you let them?

Stop right there! Perhaps there’s a way that this can be undone, is it possible to steal your confidence back and allow yourself to believe again that anything is possible? Perhaps taking a small step or two to try and realise just one of those dreams? Or would you prefer to be one of those people? What people you ask?   Those people that Bronnie Ware wrote about in her book The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying. With the number one most common regret, discovered by this palliative care nurse, being I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

A little while ago I facilitated a sell out event with 70 women from all walks of life seeking to make career changes that provided more meaning and purpose. I was blown away by how many bright and talented women I spoke to who new what they were passionate about but just didn’t have the confidence to take it to the next level.   A little light bulb went on in my head, what if I could help these women reinstate just a little confidence? Imagine all that untapped potential that could be unleashed.  So with a little research I uncovered a few simple actions one can take to help build the confidence to take a few small steps in the direction of realizing dreams.

1. Let The Happiness In

Sit down with a trusted friend and together write down a list of all the things you love to do that make you happy. Then right down a second list of what you currently spend most of your days doing. Compare the lists, discuss with your friend what you observe and then agree two simple actions you can take that can help you add more of your love list into your day to day list. Put a timeline on those actions and agree to hold each other to account.

2. Take On The Road Blocks

I believe there is a solution to every problem sometimes you just need a little help to find it. Try selecting one idea or dream that you have been passionate about for quite sometime. Write down all the road blocks that are stopping you from realising that dream. Next to each roadblock write down either one action you can take, one person you can leverage to help you or one skill you can build to overcome that roadblock and if you can’t come up with one ask a trusted peer.   Prioritise your solutions and chip away at them one at a time.

3. Beware The Positivity Thief

According to renowned motivational speaker John Rohn, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” So if one or many of those people leave you feeling sapped of life every time you meet consider shifting the balance of your time to those who challenge and support you in a positive and constructive way.

 4. Fail Fabulously

Did you know that most Venture Capitalists look to invest in Founders who have failed at a start up or two previously?  Why? Because it demonstrates they are willing to take big risks and try to solve challenging problems. Unfortunately, our culture has an innate fear of failure which stops many of us dead in our tracks before we even begin. We are terrified of what others will think if we don’t “make it”.

My experience tells me failing is the best way to learn and grow and it shows you are putting yourself in uncomfortable spaces.  So consider embracing failure by pulling together a failure circle where you and a couple of like minded peers get together regularly and share one risk you took in the last month that didn’t go so well, share what happened and what you learnt. This will enhance your problem solving ability, relatability and your confidence in a supportive environment.

5. Create A Gratitude & Greatness Mindset

Reflection is one of the most powerful confidence builders I have come across. Consider starting a Gratitude Journal and at the end of each day write down 3 things you are grateful for.  (Kikki K sell a beautiful Gratitude Journal for exactly this purpose). Or create a greatness list where you write down all the great things you have done that you are proud of. in your life. Put it somewhere visible to remind you daily of all the great things you are capable of and add to it as you make more great things happen.

Lastly, challenge yourself by asking is this as good as it gets? And if you honestly believe your life can be better, brighter and more inspired then steal back that confidence and own it like a boss.

 If you’re still feeling stuck and in need of a confidence boost join me and a group of like minds at the Leapers Igniter MasterClass, July 5 at One Roof Melbourne. Walk away with a plan that will give you the confidence to take action with impact and a supportive peer network that you can collaborate with on your career evolution. Places are strictly limited to so click here to secure you seat at the table now.